Father's Day Talk

Most of you are probably familiar with YouTube, “a video-sharing website … on which users can upload, view and share videos.” (Wikipedia) There is another website that features videos but they are videos of various speakers who give a talk much like I am doing today, although they are generally not religious in nature. Wikipedia describes ted.com this way: TED is a global set of conferences. They address a wide range of topics within the research and practice of science and culture, often through storytelling… Past presenters include [several famous people] and many Nobel Prize winners. Each presentation given is known as a “Ted talk”. A “Ted talk” that I recently viewed was presented by Bruce Feiler. In his “Ted talk” he shares his reaction to being

“diagnosed with cancer. Mr. Feiler worried first about his young family. So… he asked his closest friends to become a ‘council of dads,’ bringing their own lifetimes of wisdom to advise his twin daughters as they [grew].”

When Mr. Feiler was diagnosed with cancer, his twin daughters were just three years old, which means they could potentially experience most of their lives without their biological father. Mr. Feiler

“reached out to six men… and asked each one for a piece of advice for his daughters...”

(http://brucefeiler.com/books/the-council-of-dads/) If you were a father and knew that you couldn’t be there for your children through their lives like you thought you would be, who would you ask to be in your “council of dads”? What sort of advice would you hope that they would offer? What would you hope that they would ensure your children have, in terms of knowledge, possessions, support, etc? Our Father in Heaven knew that we would experience mortal life without His presence, at least in the way we had experienced it up to that point in our existence. I imagine that He felt like Mr. Feiler and that is why He organized us into families. He purposefully included an earthly father in that family. Human fathers are clearly important, otherwise they would be like the majority of the fathers in the animal kingdom who disappear from their children’s lives. That is not God’s plan for His children.

“He established families to bring us happiness, to help us learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and to prepare us for eternal life.”

(Handbook 2: Administering the Church) The scriptures teach us the responsibilities of parents and another source is the “Family: A Proclamation to the World”. This proclamation was presented in 1995 and was signed by the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles, men whom we recognize as having authority to receive revelation from God. The proclamation reads:

“Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.”

Because it is Father’s Day, I will focus specifically on what Heavenly Father asks of fathers, though both parents clearly have vital roles in their children’s lives. The “Family: A Proclamation to the World” reminds us that neither parent is expected to fulfill their responsibilities without support.

“In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

The proclamation defines the role of fathers as follows:

“By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”

To summarize, the roles of a father are: 1. Preside 2. Provide 3. Protect but before we discuss these three aspects of the role of fathers, let’s pause for a minute. Do you wonder why an official proclamation on the role of parents wasn’t released until 1995, over one hundred fifty years since the beginning of the restoration of the gospel? I have a guess. It came to me when I was reading D&C 110:14–16:

“Behold, the time has fully come, which was spoken of by the mouth of Malachi—testifying that he [Elijah] should be sent, before the great and dreadful day of the Lord come— “To turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse— “Therefore, the keys of this dispensation are committed into your hands; and by this ye may know that the great and dreadful day of the Lord is near, even at the doors”

(D&C 110:14–16).

“The restoration of the sealing authority by Elijah in 1836 was necessary to prepare the world for the Savior’s Second Coming...”

(David A. Bednar “The Hearts of the Children Shall Turn” October 2011) We typically focus on the line of the scripture that relates with redeeming our dead, but the previous line is what caught my eye, “to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children”. I wonder if the role of parents and families were defined more clearly than ever in the family proclamation because part of it’s aim is to “turn the hearts of the fathers to the children”. This is part of our preparation for the Second Coming. Our world today is caught up in immediate gratification and selfishness. As any parent will tell you, parenting requires selflessness and does not provide much instant gratification. Parents have to be future-focused in order to maintain their energy and their motivation to parent. When parents focus on the long-term benefits of their parenting efforts, their hearts are turned to the children. The roles that Heavenly Father gives our earthly father help our earthly father do just that. Let’s go back to our list of the roles of a father: 1. Preside. One definition of preside from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary is:

“to exercise guidance, direction, or control”.

A person can hardly guide or direct if they do not have a goal or destination they are working for. To preside appropriately, fathers need to look ahead to see where or what he is guiding his family to. He must think about whom he wants his children to be and what he wants for their lives. 2. Provide the necessities of life. A father who is fulfilling his role as a provider will ensure that his family has what they need and will also teach his children how to be self-sufficient so they can provide for themselves as they are able to in the future. 3. Protect. Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave a talk in October 2012 entitled “Protect the Children”. He explained the role of protecting well:

“Children are highly vulnerable. They have little or no power to protect or provide for themselves and little influence on so much that is vital to their well-being. Children need others to speak for them, and they need decision makers who put their well-being ahead of selfish adult interests. We are all under the Savior’s command to love and care for each other and especially for the weak and defenseless.”

Protectors of children or other vulnerable people have their hearts turned toward them. Heavenly Father created a plan in which we would be taken care of while we are on the earth. For fathers, He asked that they focus on three things in their role: preside, provide, and protect. When Mr. Feiler was choosing his council of dads, he chose men who would teach as he would teach and protect as he would protect. Our Heavenly Father wants our earthly fathers to act as He would act if He were on the earth with us. What better way is there for us to prepare for the Second Coming than to work to become more like our Heavenly Father? He felt that these three avenues were the most important ways that our earthly fathers could influence us to help us return back to His presence in heaven. It is my prayer that we can all recognize and fulfill the roles given to us so that we can return back to our Heavenly Father’s presence and help others to do the same as well.